one word: firstdatebathroomanal
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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