she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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