I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
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