# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
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