it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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