Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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