Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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