Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
