I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
