and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Randomize
