I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
