Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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