I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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