Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
