Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Randomize
