yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
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