i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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