Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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