I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
