I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
