your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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