This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
my poor anus
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
