yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Randomize
