I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize