i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
