Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
