she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize