susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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