Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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