I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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