i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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