But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
