dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Randomize