I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
So squirting runs in the family.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Randomize
