Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
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