cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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