I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
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