Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Shame - the story of my life.
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