i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize