Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
