id be glad to
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
