I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Randomize
