I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
