last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
