maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
