Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
i need some magic done to my vagina
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Randomize
