shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
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