I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
