I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
