Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
it's like iHOP with fire
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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