If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
