Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
