God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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