if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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