i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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