Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
