Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
