i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
